Sunday, August 19, 2007

Teen troubles-2

Mothers of teenage boys beware!! Do not be carried away by those innocent eyes and try to defend them unless you are absolutely sure. Oh yes, I agree. He is your son and right from the days of Lord Krishna mothers tend to believe that their sons are okay and it is these ‘others’ that are trouble makers and lay the blame on your poor innocent child. Isn’t it aptly described in the famous ‘Main Nahin makhan khayo’ song. Poor Krishna, the gopikas would smear his lips with butter and blame him of stealing it from their homes! I learnt my lesson when my son was in his XII standard. And remember I was a teacher myself.

I was getting ready for college when my son said that his computer Science teacher wanted to meet me.

“Me?” I asked, Why?”

“She is refusing to accept my record work and is threatening to give me a zero in my practical exams.”

Now my son has or rather had the habit of dropping bombshells at the most inappropriate moments. Like when I am giving finishing touches to my cooking or the exact moment I put on my slippers to leave home or any time when I hop from the kitchen to the bedroom and am frantically looking for my keys. Those are the precise moments when my mind is kind of confused and I pay minimum attention. My conversation is conveniently restricted to monosyllables or ‘oh’s and ‘I see’s. We talk of understanding child psychology and these brats are experts in analyzing parent psychology.

“Listen son” I said “I’ll talk to you in the evening. When does she want to meet me?”

He was also getting ready for school.

“Today” was his reply.

And you tell me now?” I was beginning to lose my temper.

“I forgot” he said. “ I remembered only when I was arranging my bag.”

“Why is she refusing to accept your record?”

“”I had to submit it on Friday. Father Principal sent me along with M… on Friday to invite the Principals of different schools for our annual day. I was late in coming back. There was a traffic jam in the Adityapur bridge. You can ask M….’s mom if you want to.”

M…..’s mother was my colleague so the facts could be verified.

“Did you explain this to your teacher?”

“I did, ,but she refuses to see reason.”

“What about M…?”

“He is in the Commerce section. I wish I had taken Commerce. It would have been so much better. Those guys have such fun.”

I agreed to come to his school in the afternoon and sped off to college. I took out time to find out from M…’s mother whether the boys had indeed gone around distributing invitation cards and she confirmed my son’s version including the traffic jam. My heart filled with pride at the thought of my son being entrusted with responsibility and that too by the Principal himself. How could his teacher be so insensitive, I wondered? After all my son was given a job by the Principal. I then thought that perhaps the teacher did not know that it was the Principal who had sent him. Rahul ought to have explained. She’d have surely understood if he had excused himself before leaving school.

It was with a biased mind that I went to meet the teacher. She sent word for my son who came looking like a lamb being led to the slaughter house.

“ Ma’am,” I began “I hear that you refused to accept his record work……’

She interrupted me mid sentence.

“He had to submit it on Friday., did he tell you that?”

“Oh yes ma’am” I was certain that I was on firm ground. “But he was sent to distribute cards by the Principal. On his way back there was a traffic jam in Adityapur and they were late on account of that. The bridge is narrow and a jam in the area takes hours to clear. I agree that he should have excused himself before leaving….”

I was again interrupted by the teacher. This time her question was directed to my son.

“Did you tell Father Principal that you had a practical class in the afternoon?”

“No, ma’am”

Turning to me she said, “Mrs. R………. let me complete the story for you. He went along with M……. because he wanted to have some fun. The school was providing them with a van and in his place I too would have liked to go about distributing invitation cards instead of attending my practical class. More so if my assignment was incomplete. Yes I strongly suspect that he hadn’t completed his assignment and offered his services the moment Father Principal started looking for someone to take the responsibility. Had he told him that he had a practical class, the Principal would have sent someone else. There were many others who could have done the job. If his assignment had been complete he could have guiven hit to someone to submit it on his behalf.”

I did not know where to hide my face. I was myself very particular about my students finishing their record work on time and I was stupid enough to get carried away by my son. I don’t even remember what I mumbled as response to the teacher’s claim. I remember asking my son to apologize and hurrying off from the place resolving never to take his side before hearing the other side of the story.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

hhgmom:

"I learnt my lesson when my son was in his XII standard. "

... and again when he was in college in bangalore and you had to make a long phone call ;-) [but that is definitely an older story/post!].

what is your take on the fact that fathers are not typically blamed for errant kids? the blame for such kids is always attached with the mother. in lord krishna's case too, it is his mother that he tries to get onto his side. why does he not appeal to his father to vindicate him instead of 'maiyyaa moree ...'?

- s.b.

Joy said...

Don't bother HHGMom, What goes around comes around, your son will learn from his child :) . I remember the pranks I used to play on my parents and they are slowly getting back to me :). Actually it is just not child, but anyone who is in a tricky situation comes up with a "politically correct" statement and we do get carried away as we always trust the person and know that he is good, which is true, just that once in a while good people stray away but not too much that it would be a concern. But aren't these small moments which makes life interesting and memorable?

nz said...

HHGM, my son only turned 10 last month and a few months back one of my son's friends dad called up and yelled at my son for calling his home and telling him that he is not his friend anymore ! ( can you beleive an adult interfering in like this for such a stupid thing and complaining about it to me )and when aman denied it which is not a big deal even if he said that since kids say these things all the time, I went to explain it to him that its his misunderstanding. He wouldnt listen and said he knows how aman sounds on phone so he is sure and I walked out when he threatened that he will call cops ( and say what that a 9 year old is telling his son that he wont talk to him !) that was the height. I just told him that i trust my son cos he isnt that type of kid and he says that he hasnt called and I believe him. Anyway, later he sent his apologies to me cos he did call the cops and traced the call and it came from another of his friends !

So sometimes it pays to trust your child too and I am so glad I did that. But then again he isnt a teenager yet, right ??

Random Vignettes said...

uh-oh.....sounds like one of those moments where u wish the earth opens up and swallows u whole!!!!
but i bet these are the moments ul remember fondly a later on :):):)

Hip Grandma said...

s.b.:Fathers know only 2 extremes.either pamperor blow their tops off.My husband used to threaten my daughters that he'd pull them out of school and get them married once they turned 18.As for my son he was free to become a porter in the railway station any day.

joy:why dion't you include your own stories in your blog.they'd make a delightful read.

nz:All this is part of growing up.And these stories are so well put that you end up believing that the world is ganging up against your little one.The same boy is now holding a responsible post and doing well for himself and scolds me if my blood sugar goes up by 10 points.Tables turned!!

random vignettes:you are right.I really wished it wud happen.Actually i deal with teen aged girls and this teacher dealt with boys.Naturally she knew better.With my son away it is these memories that bring pleasure to my otherwise boring existence.

apu said...

lovely story :)

Just Like That said...

:-) lesson learnt and stored away to take out at appropriate time.

LOL at getting the girls married and son beoming a porter.
My husband so typically makes me grit my teeth when he and my son sit together to do things- its an overdose of sweetness and honey, until Sonny boy plays up too much, when Hell breaks much worse than it does in mommyland.

I see that I will just have to grin/grit and bear, sigh!

Tys on Ice said...

hahaha...tht was so typical...according to my mother, who was also a teacher, she used to dread fone calls..we are 3 sons with 2 years age gap between us...on reflection, I think we did some of those things on purpose to drive her up the wall....but most of the time it was always someone else's fault...

mothers are wonderful ...wht wud a teenager do without them?

vishesh said...

lol have given my mom a share of those but never for record....:) but i hate doing work but i prefer telling the truth :)

Anonymous said...

hhgmom & "just like that":

"My husband so typically makes me grit my teeth when he and my son sit together to do things- its an overdose of sweetness and honey, until Sonny boy plays up too much, when Hell breaks much worse than it does in mommyland."

i have to confess, i am just like that, if you know what i mean! :-)

- s.b.

hillgrandmom said...

Am I glad my children are all grown up! But unfortunately for my kids, I always gave the complainer the benefit of the doubt:)

Something to Say said...

ha ha hhg... your son sure knows which parent to get along with him to school. We maiyyas are soooo bholi about our lil kanhaiyas....

Hip Grandma said...

apu:Thanks

Just like that:husbands can't handle kids for long.As for teenagers they are better left alone.

tys on ice:you're little brat will soon become a teenager.Prepared??

vishesh:I too have given my parents a taste of such things and I later came to know that my son had gone out without a thought about the practical class since he expected to come back.so he was telling the truth alright.The problem was that he'd never leave an opportunity to get involved in extra curricular activities.'What were classes anyway?you have them every day.' was the attitude.In this case I got to know abt it so late that I hardly got to know the details.I felt bad that I did not understand that there could be a teacher's side to the story.

s.b.:Most are like that.

hillg'mom:me too,most of the time.this was one occasion i got carried away.

something to say:Maiyyas can be twisted at will and a kind word about the child makes us want to part with the most prized possession.All typical yeshodhas!

Balaji said...

:)

Usha said...

hehehe..the things we mothers go through for the sake of our children. I particularly like that bit about "I wish I had taken commerce..." So typical...lol
I wish you could take a picture of Rahul when he reads this and post it too!

Tys on Ice said...

HHG'mum : Hell no!! Iam not prepared and dont think I will ever be. Iam just going to face it and brave it out...btw, wheres the blog u promised me? my email id is tysonice@hotmail.com

vishesh said...

'What were classes anyway?you have them every day.'


lol thats me... i love to bunk...:)

Hip Grandma said...

balaji:reminded of your days,eh??

usha:I expect Rahul to block my blog anyday.He's perhaps already cut up for targetting him as if the sister's were angels.

tys on ice:Will send you the attachments soon.Actually I forgot which one I wanted to send.Getting old you see.

vishesh:I did not expect you to be any different.My friend is now going through what I went through some 10/12years back.Progressive evolution is evident.

starry nights said...

Beautiful story and one that I can relate to, i have a teenage son.

kurrodu said...

LOL :)
HHGMA,
All moms are the same. They completely believe their kids.
You were no different. I bet MY MOM WUD DO THE SAME. Your post reminds me of my wonderful school days. I used to bunk theory classes ( not my practicals) in the name of extra curricular activities and school functions. I recall several instances where I had bunked class tests esp. chemistry by attending quiz competitions and extempores conducted in other schools with the permission of our headmaster. Fortunately, my teachers never complained about it to my headmaster or my parents.

Kalpana said...

So, thumb rule is, never get carried away by teen kids.

Reeta Skeeter said...

LMAO! My mom is the same with by brother :|

vishesh said...

lol ya....but i assure you the nerds are still there :) we are in a world were complete evolution is needed,btw take a look at my poetry blog :)

WhatsInAName said...

lol :)

So very true... these brats are experts in parent psychology :)

The Kid said...

Lying is not an easy thing to do. It requires a lot of thinking. An even finer version is a half-truth... where the suspect gets farther and farther from being detected...

It needs experience to appreciate the beauty of a lie.

Well.. I used to lie.. and I dont ever remember ever going undetected by my mom... But once when I thought I had gotten away with my fib... only years later did I realize that my mom had known about it all along. She had just decided to see how far I could go on with my little naughtiness.

Moms are scary!

Hip Grandma said...

Lalitha:thanks.BTW howzour sister"Praying for her.Hope she recovers fast.

kurrodu:weren't those good old days great?i too have fond memories of my school days.i was a boarder for 8 long years.Had lots of fun.

kalpana:Yes that is the message.You've got me right.

reeta skeeter:And you must be giving her the time of her life accusing her of being partial with different standards for boys and girls.Happens in every household.first time here?welcome.Hope to see more of you.

vishesh:Ignore the nerds.They don't need to be noticed either way.I'll check out the poetry.It is bound to be good.

whatsinaname:True that's why they are called brats.

the kid:Lying has never been easy becos' one has to remember them with a greater efficincy.
'It needs experience to appreciate the beauty of a lie'
very true.but don't moms do it all the time?

Monika said...

when i read and hear things like this i wonder how does one deal with kids and how did our mom's deal with us :)

Hip Grandma said...

monika:each generation feels the same way abt.the previous one.That is what makes life interesting.I used to tell my children that their kids would trouble them much more than they did and I'd laugh and clap and enjoy myself and also give them a few useful tips as to how they may do it the proper way.BTW way A happy B'day to you too.I'll surely remember your b'day in future.

Sunita said...

Oh!! My Dad used to stand up for me. In my XII when my id was confiscated by the HOD for bunking class and loiterring around I didn't know what to do. I was staying with my aunty then and I surely couldn't tell them(they were very very strict) so i sent dad a letter saying "Come immediately and please come directly to the college" ... and i don't remember what story I gave him but my teacher was kind enough to add a few nice things about me so that saved my day :) ..phew!!! ..Thinking about it I can still feel the tension of bypassing uncle and aunty and let dad know and make sure dad never mentions it to them was quite a task.

Madhumita. said...

Dear HHGM - this sounds like the sort of thing I put my own parents through :) . Now, I am a mother of a 4 year old boy, and I realize that what goes around comes around pat bang! And he hasn't even entered the 2 digit age yet.

Love your blogs btw.